


Texts From Last Night

by fireinmyveins



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Drunk Texting, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Sexual Humor, Texting, Texts From Last Night
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 17:33:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10746501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireinmyveins/pseuds/fireinmyveins
Summary: Alcohol does many things to people. Some more embarrassing than others.





	1. Desmond

Lucy  
  
Woke up and there was a crate of fireworks, a legion of rubber ducks and a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?

 

 

Rebecca  
  
I remember going home with 2 girls Desmond. 2 girls.  
Woke up with 4.

 

 

Galina  
  
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more.

 

 

Dad  
  
Your mother went into the kitchen and asked you why you were making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently you yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

 

 

Shaun  
  
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.

 

 

Daniel  
  
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life?

 

 

Charlotte  
  
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested.

 

 

 

Clay  
  
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face

 

 

 

Harlan  
  
Thanks for alerting everyone in the compound Shaun fucked you up the ass last night. Could you scream a little louder?


	2. Clay

Des  
  
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato  
  


☆〜Lucy  
  
If walking through the compound with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix and shanking Templars is postgrad life, I'm okay with it.  


Shaun  
  
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.  


Becca  
  
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home  


Lena (Des's Mom)  
  
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"  


☆〜Lucy  
  
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single  



	3. Lucy

William  
  
Where's Desmond? I can't find him anywhere and there's chickens and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened  
  


My'shell  
  
Charlotte said you asked why your car smells like burnt toast? I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with a cigarette lighter...   


Shaun  
  
just so you know. holding your hair back last night while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.  


Arend  
  
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row harlan woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.  


Kiyoshi  
  
so on my way out of Abstergo this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare  


Hannah  
  
Daniel and I have a room, Chinese food, and fresh condoms. There's nothing on this earth that could lure us out tonight.  


Shaun  
  
Really Lucy, what did we do last night and why in the fuck were there codex papers in my pocket?  



End file.
